During an election year, discussions of politics are everywhere. When opinions are deeply entrenched, talking politics with friends or family can be polarizing and stressful. So much so, apparently, that people are requesting botox to deal with their furrowed brows brought on by election cycle stress. (It was a problem during other election seasons, as well, apparently.)
In some workplaces, companies are encouraging polite exchanges and others are shutting them down because there’s no guarantee of how they will go.
And what about talking politics at the salon? Conventional wisdom always held that beauty professionals should avoid discussions of politics because navigating these conversations can be tricky. The thinking was that disagreements with clients might distract from your expertise and what you’re offering, and prevent a client from returning…but what if you’re perfectly ok with some disagreement because you want to vibe with your clients, not debate with them?
Ultimately, if you’re going to have these discussions with anyone–client, co-worker, or cousin–most of us want to come out of it without our blood boiling and with the relationship intact. The folks at national online mental healthcare provider, Grow Therapy, have offered some tips for having respectful discussions about politics; not all will work in a salon setting (you can’t always “Step Away and Self-Regulate”) but they may empower you to approach a conversation with more confidence.
Interspersed among these suggestions are quotes from salon professionals who shared their thoughts on talking politics in the salon.
5 Tips for Talking Politics
Set boundaries ahead of time
In a perfect world, you can stop conflict before it starts. “Ideally, it would be helpful to set boundaries ahead of time, and all agree not to talk politics during certain gatherings,” says Marcia LeBeau, a licensed mental health counselor with Grow Therapy.
This could look like sending out a group text or speaking individually to the people who tend to instigate and stir the pot at functions before the gathering. They may not always be receptive, but it’s worth trying.
“I try to be validating with clients – but I do not have to agree with – nor comment on what they say. Most clients just want someone to listen. Listening is a very powerful tool. A response is not required, but sometimes a simple “uh-huh” or “oh, wow” or another easy notification is all that is needed. And if I need to, I will change the subject politely by circling back to chatting about the client’s hair needs and focus on doing a professional job with the hair.”–Marco Pelusi, owner, Marco Pelusi Hair Studio, educator
Know where to draw the line
If the plan to set boundaries ahead of time doesn’t work out and political debates break out, it’s important to practice your boundary-setting skills.
“Sometimes, even with people who are incredible communicators, conversations can still become hostile or heated with people who have very firm beliefs,” says Sean Abraham, a licensed clinical social worker with Grow Therapy. “In these situations, we have no control over how the other person will act or speak to us. To maintain our own emotional and sometimes physical safety, we may set boundaries.”
Setting boundaries involves informing others how you will respond to certain actions and where you draw the line, to speak. For example, Abraham says you may advise that you intend to leave the event if political topics arise. “Even if the topic is brought up, you have clearly explained that you will not engage with it and can leave the situation knowing you set a reasonable and healthy boundary,” he says.
I tell my client if I had to talk politics every day at work, I would be depleted by the end of the day so I refrain from any political discussions.” —Amber O’ Hara, owner of Gold and Braid Salon, co-founder of The Business of Balayage
Know that changing their mind is not your responsibility
As much as you’d probably like to sway those you know over to your side or even just get them to see things from your point of view, this is not your responsibility.
In heated debates, people are typically not coming from a place of wanting to be open-minded or understanding, Moron explains. More likely, they’re just trying to get their opinion out – and chances are, your voice is probably not going to overpower their deep-seated beliefs and all the media they ingest, she says.
“You are not in charge of having to teach them or get them to come to a different side,” Moron says. “Protect your peace. Ask yourself, is it worth your energy?”
“I tell them, ‘This is your place to relax and I want you to come in here and not have to worry about anything going on in the world while you’re here… so let’s worry about that later and talk about what you’d love for a drink and relaxation today?’ We, the stylists, control the conversation and where it goes, and what we allow in our space. I don’t ever want someone to feel not welcome or getting heated while they are in a space where we relax and recharge (not just my client, but the stylists and other clients nearby!)
“If it continues, I will simply just tell them I hear about it too much and simply don’t have the capacity so let’s talk about something uplifting and in our control!”–Shannon Demont, photographer, hairstylist, educator
Remember that it’s OK to leave if you need to
Once again, boundaries. If you are feeling super triggered, upset, or angry, pulling yourself out of this situation is OK. “Just as a reminder, needing to leave an uncomfortable and potentially unsafe situation is NOT a moral failing or indicative of you being a bad person, colleague, friend, or family member,” Abraham says. “Social and business gatherings can be incredibly strenuous for anyone for many different reasons, and it is completely valid and reasonable to leave a situation – even if it’s a major event – if you need to.”
“Discussing politics in the salon is like getting too close to the animals in the zoo, some are sweet but others would kill you. Politics in the salon depends on your ability to read the client’s personality and who’s up for a civil conversation and who’d turn around and bite you.”–Carlos Valenzuela, author, educator, and mentor
Step away and self-regulate
If you’ve decided your best move is to remove yourself from the situation, use this time to self-regulate and calm down healthily. Moron suggests the following ideas:
- Go for a walk
- Take a hot shower
- Have a drink of water
- Listen to calming music
- Do some deep breathing
- Call up a safe person
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